I have such the habit of piling it on. What is mine, what isn’t mine, what is the collective mine, what is out there, what is not my responsibility…And I found myself overloading, again. My stomach goes on vacation without me and I get an headache as a big wakeup call that I’ve been carrying the world around on my shoulders. I’m not really sure why I don’t just have shoulder issues, which literally and symbolically makes a lot more sense. I’m guessing because the classic feeling center is the stomach. And sometimes we can’t avoid the overload, like the shakeup that is happening in the world in Charlottesville, or kids going back to school and having big emotions expressed. But one thing I know for sure is that my creativity is deeply affected.
Looking at this overload and the relationship to creativity my mind searches for a solution to bring balance back. In my email today, the fabulously real Danielle Laporte asks, What will you let go of? Letting go translates to lightening the load. Because if I am taking on the world and a whole lot of stuff that isn’t my stuff to work on, I need to drop that suitcase down on the ground, so I can create and express. I need a moment of honesty with myself.
- I can’t do much about what is happening in rallies of hate, but I can support those who are doing something about it. I can hand it to them.
- I can’t do much about my stepkids’ world before me, but I can say a prayer that they figure things out themselves and find their voices. I can hand it to them.
- I can’t do much about the inbalance between what I give out and what I receive…whoa…what’s this…but can I? I can drop things that don’t perform. That feels like I am giving so much out and not getting back? That would really be lightening the load.
Now we are hitting paydirt and some deep honesty…
Last week I mentioned again on Facebook that I was asking for donors at Patreon for my new book. For only $1 or $5 a month folks would be supporting my project, the Idea Emporium Book, as I created it. That’s $1.00. When I started the Patreon page, a few of my dear friends who have seen me through thick and thin, lent their support. I was deeply grateful. With their support I was hopeful, excited, and filled with ideas. I could share bits and pieces of the book. I could share lessons, ideas. And I have. Support feeds your creativity. And I wanted to share with even more people and create even more.
Now I’m an extremely creative person. Sometimes the ideas, whether good or not, flow through too much and I can’t shut off the flow. If I didn’t create I would crumble. It would be like shutting off a raging river and I’d either flood over or dry up. And when I asked and shared, and got crickets, I felt unsupported, invisible. And then I felt resentful. And most healthy people just pull back and don’t share as much. Not me. I give more! With suggestions from a coach for the book she suggested I increase my social media presence and that would eventually sell the book. I added a facebook biz page for my book. I now have two pages to take care of. I started writing again, which I needed to do, because without writing I was cutting off the flow. I got ideas for doing classes again and I wanted to offer a zine. More ideas. More flow. But again, I looked at that Patreon page and the result and I pulled myself way back. This is a business after all, and without financial support coming in, it is hard to feel rewarded for what I do and feel that balance of giving what I have and sustaining that business. Whether folks don’t trust or understand Patreon (which I think might be some of the issue), or whether they don’t see the value, it wasn’t helping.
I felt all this today as I cleaned the house with my stomach healing, and as I avoided the news and social media angst over the world and focused on scrubbing. I’m not sure I will keep my Patreon page as I don’t want to burden my besties, and that is how I am feeling. But I don’t want to let of my idealism either or enthusiasm for what I am creating, or that hopeful feeling when I create something new. And I like to give, I like to help others. That’s my mission.
Creatives, can we be more honest what fits and doesn’t fit us? Instead of doing more work for less reward?
- The exhaustion of Facebook ads to maintain a page when I am not a social media marketer
- Having paintings in gallery shows; I am not a fine artist
- The follow/unfollow technique on Instagram. Can I have a great big Ewwww?
- Free seminars or classes to get folks to look at your work
- Big venues when I’m a one on one kind of person
I just think the formula to get there we are told and taught is not working for me and I need to find new avenues, new areas of support, to seek out so I can keep creating for those who value and need it. I need to find my formula.
Can you lighten your load and carry less of the world on your shoulders? And what isn’t fitting and what needs to be a better fit for you regardless of “how it’s being done?” Feel free to share what DOES work for you.
Freeing your thinking and my own. Until next Tuesday,